This E-mail thread is too damn funny not to share. The short version is that the law firm in question had just won a years-old case defending the Washington Redskins against a claim of “disparagement.” A partner sent out an E-mail applauding the firm’s win, and a junior junior junior associate decided to offer a gentle yet very public rebuke over the racial insensitivities in the case that may have not been adequately appreciated.
For the non-lawyers amongst us, the relationship between the new associate and a senior partner in this size firm is more or less like Ensign Expendable to Captain Picard, Anonymous Henchman to Dr. Evil, etc.
Read the whole thing for important lessons on critical topics for today’s young lawyer, such as:
- Proper Use of the “Reply All” Button
- Punctuation and Grammar (With Special Emphasis on Capitalization)
- Law School v. The Real World
The real payoff, though, is the senior partner’s response. Truly classic. A taste:
Bob and I represent clients, not causes. We like Native Americans. If Native Americans had hired Bob, the Redskins would have lost the case. But they didn’t. They hired someone else. So it was incumbent on Bob to kick their ass in court. It is really that simple.
Awesome.
Uggh, the self righteous tone of his email, and his painful, Obama-like digression to a would-be allegory of his childhood made my eyes roll far enough back into my head that I fear they may never be normal again. I think he missed his calling as an ACLU attorney.
“Ensign Expendable to Captain Picard”
Because a Star Trek reference is much more understandable to the general public than the governance structure of a partnership. Neeeeeerd!
Besides which, I don’t think anybody was ever expended in the Next Generation series. Their usual response to a threat was for the ship’s General Counsel to draft a stern letter.