First Principles

In search of the Unified Theory of Conservatism

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Entries from April 2009

The Future is Now…

April 16th, 2009 · 16 Comments

…and it sure is tiny.

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Tags: Life

Does This Count as Torture?

April 13th, 2009 · 1 Comment

I don’t know.  But if it does, sign me up. During his captivity, US marines forced Saddam, who was executed in 2006, to repeatedly watch the movie South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut, which shows him as gay, as well as the boyfriend of Satan. Sweet.

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Tags: Foreign Policy · Hollywood · Iraq · Movies · Silliness

Thank You President Obama – But Our Princess Is In Another Castle!

April 13th, 2009 · Comments Off on Thank You President Obama – But Our Princess Is In Another Castle!

Awesome!  Pirates, you messed with the wrong country.  And your exploded heads, courtesy some sharp-shootin’ Navy SEALs, is your reward. Good on President Obama for authorizing it.  He correctly recognized that these are not people you can negotiate with, and acted accordingly.  This is a great day for America. Now let’s hope Obama can learn […]

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Tags: Foreign Policy · Obama · Piracy

Piracy – Where is the Promised Presidential Spine Steel?

April 9th, 2009 · 3 Comments

(Updated – see below.) I don’t understand the problem with the current pirate standoff in the Gulf of Aden.  The situation is relatively simple.  The American merchant ship is safe, as is most of the crew.  The pirates have one hostage, but are themselves stranded in a lifeboat with no gas, and limited provisions.  Sitting […]

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Tags: Obama · Piracy

So Close!

April 7th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Oh, perfidious North Carolina, rolling like a ruthless steamroller over all who stand in your way!  Who could have known you’d be so unstoppable after losing in your own conference tournament!?!  I was all set to crow about the brilliance of my Badassiest Mascot method, and you had to go and ruin it!  You, a […]

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Tags: Silliness · Sports

An Offer We Can’t Refuse

April 6th, 2009 · 1 Comment

What do you call it when a gift is forced on you, “for your own good” as well as the good of your family and neighbors? And then what happens when you try to give that gift back, and aren’t allowed to? What happens when the response to the attempt to give that gift back […]

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Tags: Capitalism · Class Warfare · Constitutional Law · Economy · Federalism · Free Markets · Liberal Fascism · Obama · Socialism